Tuesday, June 19, 2007
dachau
it was a beautiful afternoon when we went, with the long stone lane coupled by tall trees, leaves rustling in the wind it could almost be a garden. but the heaviness in the air was almost palpable, the barracks streaming with sunlight but still imbued with an unseen darkness. everyone moved slowly, lightly, silently, afraid of disturbing the peace, or weighed down by the knowledge of what had happened sixty years ago. it wasn't disturbing, but calmly informative, detailing the story of the first of many concentration camps that became a representation of pure evil. auschwitz may be different, more shocking perhaps, with its terrifying scale of human extermination, but dachau sought not appeal to emotions and i appreciated that. we don't need another horror show to inspire insipid emotions. facing the horror squarely in the face and dissecting it, searching for an answer to the existence of such evil may be the better response.
i found it hard to be emotional. empathizing with a personal tragedy is much simpler than comprehending such large scale dehumanizing acts. j said that he could understand it much better after ns, how power stirs the darkest human instincts. the stanford prisoner experiment was an equally powerful statement of how easy it is to dehumanize others. but it was still difficult to watch schindler's list as the commander shot prisoners for pleasure, as though they were nothing but game.
will be back around evening on 1st july. internship starts a week later, so please let me know when you want to meet up between 2nd and 6th july! (after which i will only be able to go out after work or on weekends)
ray at 8:25 AM
Monday, June 11, 2007
alien
salzburg was beautiful, but too much of an adult disneyland. it was unfortunate that we elected to go on a public holiday, when salzburg was all but trodden down by tourists (us not excluding). the old town was imaginably pretty, quaint porches dotted with flowers, grave churches dimly lit by flickering candles, tiny cobblestone pavements were expected, and seen. there were a few too many louis vitton and prada boutiques for my comfort, and mozart chocolates simply screamed "kitsch!" but hey, you want a charming small european town with castles and meandering rivers and the magnificent alps, and salzburg offers it all. that's sufficient. novelty is too much to ask for these days when discovery travel and living displays all of the world in its splendour while you sit comfortably in front of the tv munching on potato chips. i've been rather underwhelmed so far, and i'm hardly some seasoned traveller. i need some undiscovered wonder, but once i discover it it'd no longer be undiscovered so it's the same old in the end. if i want to lounge in a luxury train to tibet instead of hiking in the wildness and trying to cope with the thin air, then i ought to accept the mcdonalds and starbucks in lhasa.all roads lead to rome? no. all roads lead to mcdonalds these days. (but mcdonalds deserves more credit than i give it. though the big fat yellow 'm' is ubiquitous, mcdonalds actually has pretty different, umm i'll be nice and not call it fast food, gastronomical offerings in different places.)
and now i've a grand total of 25 cents on me! where did all my money go! ugh. it's excruciating discussing kafka in german when i can't even quite grasp his writing in english or chinese. and some old ladies here are rather openly racist and i wish i could quite openly tell them that i think they're huge bitches and should not pain the world with their existences anymore, too.
but i don't.
ray at 6:38 AM
Friday, June 08, 2007
zwischen uns liegt die halbe Erde
munich. long days. cobblestoned pavements. quaint trams. beautiful germans in tunics and skinny jeans, chic and carefree with the sun in their aryan blond hair.but in the end, it's just another city with starbucks. it's selfish of me, but globalization just seems to render indigenous cultures obsolete and there's this part of me that hoped more of germany was somewhat authentically european, with less burger kings and h&m (even though i'm dearly fond of h&m and believe that they need to expand to singapore) and more of the charming gothic churches and fountains and old-school barbers rather than a dodgy looking hairdresser place with the dubious name "temple of style". it's definitely my issue though, that i'm trying to fit the munich before my eyes into a preconceived notion of bavaria from bismarck's days. the city is definitely lovely. public transportation is excellent (or maybe that's because i just escaped from usa, where public transport outside of nyc is basically non-existent) and it's wunderbar to stroll around at 9pm, when it's still light and cool outside. there's a cemetery five minutes away from our dorm, all lush and quiet in its foliage and umbrage, enigmatic but charming. i love running there, looking the sebastians and johanns from times past while sexyback blast from my headphones. curious juxtaposition, i know, but at the same time curiously satisfying.
and now i will attempt to locate a frisbee somewhere and go frolick in the english gardens. more on munich and salzburg some other time. and maybe dachau, depending when i'm going there. i really need to go back to thinking in german... we're not supposed to use english from 9am to 9pm and this is a clear violation. eeks. jetzt denke ich wieder auf Deutsch.
ray at 7:07 AM
Monday, May 28, 2007
ladeeda
so...finals are over. friends have left for the glorious summer. i'm sitting in the midst of all the junk i've amassed over the school year and feeling disoriented. it's a strange feeling when everyone leaves so abruptly. none of that year-end examinations, getting back papers and hanging out with classmates on the last day of school thing we're so used to. it's an incomplete closure here, when people leave intermittently and it's frantic studying for finals followed by/coupled with frantic packing and POOF! everyone's gone. except for old alums coming back for reunions. (you can't drink in open spaces here and guess what, the school put up tents and fences all over campus to create enclosed spaces so that people can drink. this is why if i give back to the school i'm making sure that the money goes to financial aid)still, the past few days have been the most relaxed and fun time i've had here. the weather is awesome, albeit a little too warm (i can't believe i'm complaining about warmth. clearly going to wither and die when i get back to singapore). it's great hanging out with friends still on campus and playing random frisbee and jumping into the school fountain at 3am in the morning.
will be in munich this time next week. oh yeah!
ray at 8:43 AM
Sunday, May 13, 2007
ughhh
six hours. two pages of pathetic german. ARGH. damn i need to concentrate. four more finals. two more weeks. and it totally doesn't help that the weather is amazing and perfect for running/frisbee/hanging out and i'm stationing myself in front of the laptop.ARGHARGHARGH.
okay rant over. now back to work.
ray at 8:35 PM
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
beams
thank you! i feel very loved and really really appreciate it :)there're times when you walk around the school, gothic buildings abound, ambling past girls in summer dresses and boys in the volleycourt when you suddenly feel lost. it's a beautiful day and a lovely place, but everything seems alien for a split second and you wonder where you are and what you are doing there. you know you're not home, and it'll never be home, but at the same time you question where home is. perhaps you'll always be floating along, never quite feeling settled. then the moment passes and life goes on.
and now back to the last comp sci assignment. finally i'm going to be done with this class!
ray at 3:43 PM
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
blur
ahh finally. last week of classes, followed by a flurry of papers and finals and off i go to munich! can't wait! munich is beautiful and we've a quaint little park where i can go run everyday next to the dorm we're going to live in. time to get an ipod so i've something to listen to... only downside is that i'll be internet-less most of the time. i'll be strong and try to survive.and yay it's the time of the year for formals and houseparties and lawnparties and playing dress-up. we've a ridiculous amount of opportunities to dress up if we want to here. so frosh formal was all prom-chic mixed with a bit of decadence and the coming lawnparties will be prep-squad again. be prepared for double popped collars and plaid pants.
so here's a blurry photo of frosh formal because i'm averse to plastering my face all over the blog. i loved the lighting! should have taken a photo of the room, with chandeliers and billiard tables and mahogany furniture in rich maroon and emerald shades.
ray at 2:16 PM
